First there was Benefits Street…but if you’re a Channel 5 commissioner looking to make a knock-off of Channel 4’s hateful controversial popular documentary then we’d like to offer the following pitches to you, complete with Birmingham roads you can film them on: Continue reading “Quality Streets”
It’s being desperately compared to making a pilgrimage to Abbey Road – that’s right all the cool kids are doing a selfie* over at James Turner Street. Wait that doesn’t makes sense. The Abbey Road photo you want to take isn’t a selfie by a road sign, it’s a photo of you crossing the road in an homage to the famous record cover. You want to recreate the moment and touch the magic.
Ahead of the influx of Benefits Street tourists expected to flock to Birmingham to be near their heroes we’ve pulled together an alternative list of Birmingham selfie spots where you can recreate some magic moments. Continue reading “5 Better Birmingham Tourist Selfies”
The Andalusian Cafe in Moseley was a couple of shop fronts up from the Prince of Wales. No one ever went in… we did.
The counter staff seemed uncertain when asked for food, there was no menu and they went in to a fizz when we opted for a plate of food with Harissa; they had none and had to go to their mum’s house for a tube of the stuff.
The food did arrive. But just then so did a white van unloading domestic hardware such as fridges and washing machines which were trooped through the dining room and put at the back as we gobbled down what had to be the only meal ever served there.
I asked why it was called The Andalusian. It was explained they always wanted to go to Morocco and we didn’t get out a map to show them Andalusia was in Spain.
You always knew the cafe by its sign, the only words on it were ‘Andalusian Cafe, Tel’ maybe the owners ran out of paint before they could add the phone number.
It closed down soon after our meal.
A series of things you must do when visiting Birmingham.
No. 1: Central Library
We asked Danny to do something lighthearted and festive to end the year. Maybe the baby Jesus or the Frankfurt Christmas Market, something like that. He took those themes of religion and dark foreign influence and sent us this. God help us.
I don’t trust this new pope.
I don’t really trust any pope, but this new one, Times Person of the year 2013, Pope Francis the PR pope, I don’t trust especially.
The last pope—the one that looked like an evil ventriloquist dummy made of meat—visited Birmingham, weirdly choosing Cofton Park for his service. I say ‘weirdly’ not only because, it used to be the site of bonfire night celebrations, the most pagan of festivals, but because a few years before a man’s head was found in Cofton Park. I’m not sure if he liked the John The Baptist imagery or had a thing for Rover cars but I’ve had my eye on popes ever since.
Continue reading “Papal account”
You’ve left it to the last minute to get Christmas gifts, but you’re still a hipster do-gooder at heart. You need independence, it’s a guarantee of thought and quirkiness and doing good for your local community. The fact that there isn’t more than two other shops with the same name is that guarantee. Forget the supply chain, feel the font. Hoist up your beard, batten down your red trousers, tighten your bird-adorned victory rolls, and head out quickly to do your present buying. These shops are all fully recommended by Paradise Circus and will be open on Christmas Eve until late**.
Actually need a present quick? Why not try the new Birmingham: It’s Not Shit the book, or 101 Things Birmingham Gave the World still time to order for Christmas.
Continue reading “The Twelve* ‘Indies’ of Xmas — a last minute Brum ‘indy’ shoppers’ guide”
After Christmas dinner cognitive abilities are low and methane levels are high. No wonder then that a fair proportion of people choose not to move from in front of the TV: some just can’t, others think that watching Downton Abbey or Doctor Who is just a bit common. They’re right. And in lieu of any stimulating debate, here’s some recommended Bham-based board games you might want to gather the family round the table for:
Stuck for a present? Why not try the new Birmingham: It’s Not Shit the book, or 101 Things Birmingham Gave the World.
Escape from Weoley Castle the Board Game
Take on the role of an inner city kid: stripped of all of your life chances you face years of brutal class attacks and vicious austerity cuts! OR you can chose to be a Tory politician, producing policies to end social mobility!
Tories must spend the entire game in another room eating lobsters bought with withdrawn EMA grants, ignoring the desperate cries for help from those in the room next door.
Kids must trudge around the board distracting themselves with cheap poppers and pictures of Tulisa in Nuts or Heat. Escape is possible only if a Villa scout sees them put two past Burton Albion for Tamworth, if they put out a dubstep album, or they get past the audition stage of a reality show. Those who are unsuccessful at music and football must pin their hopes on completing a challenge from a Springsteen Card in the final round.
Continue reading “We didn’t just invent Cluedo, you know: 11 Brum Board Games for Xmas”
In mid 2014 Birmingham got it’s own local TV channel. Chances are that they might not make it all the way to next Christmas, so luckily we’ve been able to get a listing of their test schedule for this year…get out your highlighters now.
Stuck for a present? Why not try the new Birmingham: It’s Not Shit the book, or 101 Things Birmingham Gave the World.
